After the Storm, A New Beginning

A steady rain pounded my car as I sat in traffic. A very dark cloud loomed in the distance, and I feared the worst part of the storm was yet to come. If sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic isn’t stressful enough for a worrywart, then just add lots of rain and a pending storm into the mix!

I called my mother to complain. “Traffic is horrible! It’s raining, and there’s a dark cloud moving this way!”

“Calm down,” my mom said. “It’ll be okay.”

“But that cloud looks very bad, and there’s nowhere for me to go,” I panicked.

“It’ll be okay,” my mom assured me again. “Stop stressing. There’s nothing you can do about it.”

She was right, but it didn’t make me feel any better. Inch by inch my car crawled along the interstate. As long as I was moving, there was a chance I could make it home before the storm hit. Unfortunately, the bottom fell out before I even got to my exit. Sheets of rain made it difficult to see the road and the cars in front of me, and I gripped the steering wheel for dear life.

Fortunately, many pop-up summer showers and storms don’t last for very long, and before I knew it, traffic sped up as I drove out of the storm. I got off at my exit and as I crossed the bridge, I saw a beautiful sight: a rainbow streaking across the sky. Nothing to worry about after all! If I hadn’t been through a rough commute, I wouldn’t have been rewarded by such a beautiful sight!

The actual rainbow I saw on my commute!

But isn’t that what many of us do from time to time? We stress ourselves out in the moment, not able to see the situation clearly for the rain, only to come out of it okay and wish we had enjoyed the moment more. I know I do this all the time!

Actually, I’ve done that many times this year. And I can assure you, just because I haven’t found much time to write on my blog this year, doesn’t mean I’m cured of worrying (I wish!).

In fact, I’m going to have a bit more to worry about soon: a son. That’s right! My husband and I are expecting our first child! So far I’ve been fairly relaxed as a pregnant worrywart (which has surprised me greatly!), but there have been times when I’ve wondered/worried about certain pains, how the baby is doing, and labor and delivery. It all can be very scary when I really think about it, but I’m trying to focus on all the positives like seeing my son for the first time! If I believe, maybe - just maybe - there will be a rainbow after the storm!

Hello 2013, Good-bye Worries!

It’s a new year. And you know what that means. Time for a new start! A chance to leave all of my worries behind in the previous year!

But what about the bump on my leg? And the pain in my side? And all of the psychos in the world? And what about...?

As you can tell, the New Year didn’t bring me relief from my worries. Unfortunately, I can’t just snap my fingers and dismiss them because it’s a new year. But what I am proud of is the fact that I did decrease my worrying last year. Yes, I did worry about a bump on my leg and the occasional pain, but I didn’t dwell on my worries as much. Once I started to fret, I told myself everything was okay and there was nothing to worry about. Also, while continuing to practice imagery techniques, I reminded myself that worrying and stress wouldn’t help and would only lead to actual health problems. And I didn’t want real problems to worry about! :-)

Our cat, Mickey!

The New Year did bring my husband and me something - or someone - to worry about. We adopted a kitten! So, as you can probably guess, my concerns have slightly shifted to the cat. What if he doesn’t stop sneezing? What if he has a parasite? What if he’s really not a purebred Siberian and I’m allergic to him? (Okay. So that last one kind of has to do with me. We searched for a Siberian because they supposedly produce fewer allergens, but turns out, we don’t think we were told the truth concerning his breed.) So how am I handling these potential concerns? Well...er....I have to admit that my initial reaction was to think the worst. But coming up with a plan of action for each question has helped me to move on and concentrate on other things like this blog. For example, since Mickey keeps sneezing, I plan to call the vet in the morning. And what if he has a parasite? Well, the vet will know what to do about that, too, if that is even the case. And if we end up being allergic to him, then we have pet wipes that help to keep him clean and reduce the dander. For now, that’s all I can do, right?

And for all of you worrywarts out there, I recommend you read, “I Kill Me: Tales of a Jilted Hypochondriac” by Tracy H. Tucker. A fellow worrywart recommended the novel to me about a month ago, and the protagonist made me laugh - at myself. The female lead thought she had all of these ailments, and it was eye-opening to see her reacting as if the sky were falling. It reminded me things aren’t always as bad as you first believe.

‘Till next time, don’t you worry about a thing (and I’ll try to follow my own advice)!

Accepting Change

For more than two years, I waited and waited to hear my husband utter these words: “We have an offer on the condo.”

Unfortunately, because of the economy, the offer wasn’t what we had hoped for. The condo was in a prime location with great views and commutes, but it was just too small for us. So we had to decide: Stay where we are until (hopefully) the economy improves or take the offer and get out while we can? After much deliberating, we chose the latter choice.

So while we were excited about finally moving to a bigger place with more room (for all of my clothes and shoes!), it was a change and change (good or bad) can be nerve racking. Especially for worrywarts. Why? Well, because change can lead to uncertainty. Yes, ultimately, moving was probably the best decision for us right now. But as a worrywart, I couldn’t help wondering a bunch of what ifs. What if the commute is even worse than what I’m imagining? What if we’re moving to an area that’s not as safe? What if our new neighbors aren’t nice? What if we’re really not making the right decision? What if? What if? What if?

What’s even more nerve racking than dealing with one change? Dealing with two changes at once. While contemplating the move, my cat, Minnie, passed away. Minnie (who was twenty and a half years old!), was a part of my family for most of my life. Of course, it has been very difficult accepting Minnie is gone, but it has been overwhelming accepting so much change at the same time.

Despite all of these changes, I have to say I’ve done pretty well dealing with...well, life. How was I able to accept change and move on with my life? Well, it wasn’t easy. Minnie has been gone for about a month now, and my heart still sinks every time I realize she won’t run around the corner when we walk into the house. But you can’t live in the past; you have to more forward. You can remember the past and cherish the memories, but you have to get your mind on other things. Reading good books and working have helped me during this difficult time. Also, since my husband and I just happened to be in the process of moving, I had a lot of things to occupy my mind.

As for the move, there were some things I did to bring some normalcy back to my life. I worked on one room at a time to make it as livable as possible. First, I got the bedroom in order because sleep is very important for worrywarts (we need good sleep each night so our nervous systems don’t get out of whack and we worry more!). Second, I made sure the bathroom was useable. Third, we decorated the living room similar to our former one, which brought some normalcy back into our lives. Now, I barely think of our old place and our new house feels just like home.

As Kathleen Kelly (played by Meg Ryan) said in “You’ve Got Mail,” “People are always saying change is a good thing, but what they are really saying is something you didn’t want to happen happened.” Whether we like it or not, change is a part of life and there’s not much we can do about it. Sometimes even a good change like a move can be overwhelming and difficult, but you just have to push forward and find joy in life again.

Need more advice for accepting change? I found this site, which has some good advice.

Until next time, don't worry about a thing! :-)

Don’t Worry: There’s a Song For That

Since my last post, I’ve been doing pretty well with not worrying. Granted, I have had my moments: I found a spot on my leg (but I scheduled a doctor’s appointment and knowing that I will get it checked out has mitigated my worrying a bit), and my cat hasn't been doing too well (she is 20 years old, so I keep trying to tell myself that it is incredible that she made it this long!).

Besides using the imagery techniques, do you know what else has helped to reduce my worrying moments? Songs! Believe it or not, but there are many songs about not worrying and that can ease your mind during troubling times. Here’s a list of songs that I enjoy listening to any time, especially when I’m trying not to worry (in no particular order):

1) Don’t Worry ‘Bout a Thing - SHeDAISY
2) Perfect Girl - Sarah McLachlan
3) Think Good Thoughts - Colbie Caillat
4) Dream Life, Life - Colbie Caillat
5) I Believe In You (Je Crois En Toi) - Il Divo and Celine Dion
6) You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up) - Josh Groban
7) Someday - Celtic Woman
8) Only Got One - Frou Frou
9) It’s Amazing - Jem
10) Make It Happen - Mariah Carey
11) Hero - Mariah Carey
12) The Way I Am - Amanda
13) Just a Ride - Jem
14) Vivi Davvero - Giorgia
15) Good Day - Jewel
16) Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne
17) Happy - Natasha Bedingfield
18) Freckles - Natasha Bedingfield
19) Say - John Mayer
20) When You Believe - Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston
21) My Favorite Things - From "The Sound of Music"
22) Always Look On the Bright Side of Life - From "Spamalot"
23) Keep On Singin’ My Song - Christina Aguilera
24) The Sun Will Rise - Kelly Clarkson
25) Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
26) No Sign of It - Natalie Grant
27) In This Life - Chantal Kreviazuk
28) Time - Chantal Kreviazuk
29) Weight Of The World - Chantal Kreviazuk
30) Extraordinary - Mandy Moore
31) Wild Hope - Mandy Moore
32) Few Days Down - Mandy Moore
33) Hold On - Wilson Phillips
34) Would You Be Happier? - The Corrs
35) Don’t Worry, Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin

So these are songs I like listening to to ease my fears, even though they all may not be specifically about worrying. So what songs do you like listening to when you’re trying to forget your worries?

Enjoying Life

As I gathered my belongings next to the pool, I noticed a woman swimming laps. Her moves were graceful as she slowly made her way to the end of the pool. She looked so calm and peaceful, like she was actually enjoying swimming.

Just a few minutes earlier, I had been swimming laps myself. And I didn’t look at all like this lady. Instead, I felt like I had been struggling, doing everything in my power to make it quickly to the other side without stopping.

It was then that I realized I live life in the same way. I’m always trying to get through the day in a hurry, always trying to make it to the next task, all the while not completely enjoying the moment. Then, by the time it’s time for bed, if I haven’t accomplished everything I had set out to do in the morning, I sometimes feel like it was a wasted day. And that’s not any way to feel!

So how is any of this related to worrying? Well, if everything is perfect (as close as it can be, anyway) and I’ve done what I set out to do each day, then what’s there to worry about?

Unfortunately, not everything is perfect. When obstacles begin to divert me from the path I’m on, my arms start flapping around and my legs start to lose strength, just as if I were trying to push through the water in the pool. I begin struggling to stay afloat and keep my head above water, if only for the rest of the day until I get up the next morning and do it all again. And if some things aren’t as they should be, I may just begin to worry.

Many of us go through the same motions every day, and that’s no way to really live. We should be counting our blessings every day and enjoying every moment - no, every second - without worrying. Believe me. This can be difficult to do, especially if you don’t feel well, work with difficult people, or have a lot on your plate.

So what can us worrywarts do to enjoy life on a daily basis? Here are some things I’m going to try (hope they work!):

1) Stop worrying so much (obviously!). My boss says, “Worrying is a wasted emotion.” With so much to accomplish each day, why do I want to waste my energy on worrying?
2) Count my blessings every day. So I didn’t exercise like I wanted to or didn’t have time to clean the bathroom. But I traveled to and from work safely. And I spent quality time with my husband. And I even had a good laugh with a friend. Aren’t these also important accomplishments?
3) Go to bed knowing I did the best I could that day. It’s impossible not to make at least one mistake each day, and that’s okay because we are all human. As long as you are trying to do your best every day, you shouldn’t have much to worry about.

So these are my suggestions. I hope they are helpful. Maybe the next time you encounter chaos or a difficult situation (or person), you’ll be gliding through the water (or your problems), happy and content, just like the lady swimmer.


Editor's note: I just realized I said some of the same things in this post as I did in a previous one. That definitely was not planned! I really should start taking my own advice then, huh? :-) 

So Now I Should Be Worried About...Sitting?

Blood clots. Tornadoes. Flesh-eating bacteria. Brain-eating bacteria.

Some scary things have been on my list of worries. Turns out, this whole time what I really should have been worried about is something we all do every day: sitting. Yes, sitting.

According to an article that was published in USA Today this month, a recent study shows that sitting less may lengthen your life expectancy. So that means sitting more may actually shorten it.

And we’re not talking about sitting a few hours at a time. We’re talking about just two hours throughout the entire day. If that is the case, then we should be standing almost all of the time, except when we’re sleeping. And who has the energy to stand most of the day?

Luckily, there are things we can do to mitigate the effects of what the article calls “sitting disease.” You can make sure you stand up every hour, as well as workout regularly.

Still, it seems pretty silly to be worried about sitting. Next thing you know, a study will come out about how we shouldn’t be standing all the time! With study after study coming out about anything and everything, sometimes it’s difficult to know exactly what we should be doing to stay healthy. Take for example the studies that have come out about vitamins. Some studies say we should be taking vitamins (supposedly, Vitamin D is the vitamin we definitely should be taking at the moment), and other studies say vitamins are a waste of money. Well, I’ve been taking vitamins all of my life, and I intend on continuing to take them - just in case they have been helping to keep me healthy.

Bottom line, I think as long as we do everything in moderation, we should be fine. Why make ourselves miserable, trying to decide if we’re doing everything we “should” be doing 100 percent of the time?

Will I continue to be worried about this “sitting” study? For once, "worried" might be the wrong word. I think I'll be more aware of when it is time to stand up and move around (that may even help burn some more calories, too!). Until the next study comes out that makes us worry about what we are or aren't doing, I’ll just need to have faith that I’m doing everything the best I can.

Reaching a Couple of Milestones

Flying on an airplane and swimming underwater. These are activities that many people do every day and don’t think twice about doing them.

I, on the other hand, analyze almost everything, like flying (keep in mind, I haven’t always been afraid of flying; this is a fear that has developed the older I get.) It had been three years since I had flown on an airplane. During that time, there was the Hudson River incident and...and then there was...and... Well, OK. No other incidents come to my mind right away, but I do know there were some! And even though that plane landed safely on the river and everyone was okay, that still doesn’t do much to help a worrywart. Why? Because a worrywart like myself will still wonder, what if a similar situation happens on another plane and that one isn’t able to land safely? What if it safely lands on the water but sinks before anyone can exit? What if something even worse happens???

Anyway, the idea of airplane disasters isn’t the only potential flying deterrent for me. I also worry about being exposed to colds and who knows what else while on planes (a few times I got sick after flights and it made my vacations miserable!).

So with all of these possibilities going through my mind, I rolled my suitcase onto a plane earlier this month. As I stepped on board, my chest tightened as I realized this probably was the smallest commercial plane I had flown on - ever. The plane had just two rows of seats, and they were very close together. And there wasn’t even enough room in the overhead compartments for our carry-on luggage (they had to store our carry-on luggage below the plane).

“OK. I can do this,” I thought. “No going back now.”

Once we were in the air at a cruising altitude, I was fine and not a bit nervous. Nothing happened while on the plane, and I never even got sick afterwards!

Have you ever noticed how often the anticipation for an event is worse than the actual event? You worry and contemplate about what bad things could happen, but then none of those things happen. And have you noticed that as soon as you are in the moment of the event you feared, you’re not as worried as you had been? Instead, you adapt and go with the flow, and you may even enjoy yourself.

That’s what happened last week. After hearing about a few people who died after being infected with a brain-eating bacteria in the past year, I’ve been terrified about getting water up my nose (which is how the bacteria enters bodies). Now, normally, this bacteria is in very warm water that hasn’t been cleaned, but that didn’t stop me from worrying about it. I’ve even been worried about sticking my head in chlorinated pool water. But while in a swimming pool last week, I faced my fear. I gathered my courage and swam underneath the water. Since I was a child, I loved swimming under the water, and I decided I wasn’t going to let my fear stop me from enjoying myself.

So, those are my recent milestones. Pretty normal things that I’ve done for years, and I’m glad I was able to put my worrying aside and do them again. The next time you start worrying, just remember: the less you worry, the more you will enjoy life and the little moments. :-)