Changing My Perspective - One Day at a Time

I know it has been a while since I’ve posted something. But trust me. It’s not because I haven’t been worrying.

Instead, I have been employing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and trying my best to stop worrying every time something negative triggers obsessive thoughts.

So how has it been going so far? So far so good!

Whenever I start to worry about something, I try to immediately change my thought process. I tell myself, “No, you can’t think like that. Everything’s going to be okay. And even if something bad happens, there’s not much you can do about it.” Then, I try to get my mind on other things. I read a book, watch a funny TV show or movie, call a friend, or shop.

There have been a few times when I couldn’t get pass my worrying, though. For example, one time I had to drive in the rain at night. This was something I could do all the time without worrying (it’s just a little rain, for goodness sake!). But now that I’m older, I realize all of the bad things that could happen while driving in the rain (i.e., car accident and...er...car accident). Now that I’m trying to change my perspective on many things, I know that driving in the rain at night can be just as dangerous as driving in the rain in the daytime or even without any rain, for that matter. So then why all of the extra worry?

Once you start changing your perspective, it can make such a difference! You begin living in the moment and enjoying life to the fullest. I have to admit, though, it takes a while to change your perspective; it doesn’t just happen overnight. You have to be patient with yourself and believe that you can overcome your worrying.

I know I can do it! And if you’re a worrywart like me, I know you can do it, too!

How 9/11 Changed My Worrying

As long as I can remember, I’ve been a worrywart. When I was nine years old, I drilled the doctor before I was rolled into the operating room to get my tonsils out. I recall asking him, “Can people die from getting their tonsils out?”

The doctor actually replied by saying that yes, it was possible, but not likely. At nine years old, that wasn’t very comforting to hear, but he was a doctor, so I figured he knew what he was doing and trusted him without ever questioning anything again.

After September 11, 2001, though, my mind went into overdrive and my worrying intensified. As I think back to that time period a decade later, to my surprise, my worrying did not get worse immediately after those tragic events. In the days following the tragedies, I was focused on what had happened and how the nation would recover. In fact, only a few months after September 11, I flew on an airplane; I was determined to keep living a normal life without fear.

Ground Zero in 2003.

But for some reason, time did not heal all of the wounds for me. As more time went by, the more worried I became that there could be another attack. Believe it or not, though, about two years after 9/11, I visited New York City for the first time and paid my respects at Ground Zero. Was I worried about something happening? As far as I can remember, no. A few years later, I visited New York City again, and this time, I worried the entire time I was at the airport and on the airplane. In fact, I stressed myself out so much that I now have reappearing red marks on my forehead (which I have worried about and got checked out and shouldn’t be anything to worry about).

I’m not sure why I worried more on my second trip to New York City than on my first one, but since 9/11, I tend to worry more about little things. I also worry more about things that could happen. So why do I worry like this? I think it’s because what happened on September 11 was so unexpected. It made me rethink what’s important and how precious life is, so much so that I can’t seem to stop over thinking, well, everything.

While I will always remember those who lost their lives on 9/11, I also need to remember that worrying can’t fix problems or prevent them. As much as I would like to think that my worrying is somehow helping me or the world, it isn’t.

Que Sera Sera, right?

When It’s Difficult Not To Worry

Just try not to think about it and live your life.

Oh, how I wish I could follow this advice. It’s so easy to say, yet so difficult to do.

This past weekend I experienced sharp abdominal pains. My husband rushed me to the doctor, who couldn’t tell me with confidence what caused my suffering. “You’ll need to visit your regular doctor on Monday,” he said, not seeming very worried about my condition.

While you would think visiting the doctor would have put my mind at ease, it did not. In fact, it caused me to worry even more. Why? Because while the doctor didn’t seem to think I had much to worry about, he was not 100 percent sure about what was causing my pain. With no definite answer, “what ifs” plagued my mind. What if it’s cancer? What if it really is my appendix? It’s very difficult not to worry when there are pains telling you otherwise.

I tried to concentrate on other things like writing this blog entry, talking with friends, and reading. In fact, I’ve been reading “Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive,” which encourages positive thoughts over worrying. Unfortunately, these things did not help; the pain was a constant reminder that there was something wrong.

If I could just think positive, as the book suggests, then maybe I can help out my body. The mind is very powerful, more powerful than we may ever know. If thinking positive can have positive affects on the body, then surely negative thoughts can have negative affects, as well. My worrying may be causing my body more harm than good, so I must replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

Like the doctor had suggested, I visited my regular doctor today. Turns out, I shouldn’t have been worrying as much as I had been (thank goodness!).

So the next time I start worrying, I should keep in mind this quote by Norman Vincent Peale (it’s quoted in “Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive”): “Change your thoughts and you change your world.”

Worrying Adds Unnecessary Stress

Here is my very first guest post by my longtime friend, Rosie, who is a worrywart like me. She is the mother of two children (ages 6 and 3), so they probably have something to do with her worrying. I’ve also noticed her worrying increases the older she gets (or maybe it’s just the longer she is friends with me and my worrying is rubbing off on her). Hope you can find some comfort in her post!

What is stress?

Stress is dealing with the crazy drivers at rush hour when you just want to get home. Stress is worrying about your children getting hurt. Stress is moving (I should know because I just did.) Stress is adjusting to a new job. Stress is trying to please everyone when you just can't. Stress is worrying about your health. Stress is...well, you get the point.

Stress is a part of everyday life for everyone. It consumes the lives of many of us. Gone are the carefree days we experienced as children. Oh, some days I wish to be a child again!

I worry and stress myself out a lot. My heart races, and I feel sick to my stomach and like things are spinning. What do I stress about? Little things sometimes. Like writing this article. Will anyone actually like it?

My husband tells me I need to relax. I worry about him and my kids and friends and family and sometimes just life in general. I have been doing better, though (somewhat, anyway). I am trying to think things through before I throw them out of proportion and stress out for no reason. My biggest stresses lately have been moving and buying our first home, as well as worrying about first bills and payments that we haven't had before. Maybe it won't be as bad as I think it is, but it is a big stress in my life.

So, if you are like me and worry which causes stress, try to take things with a grain of salt and try not to worry so much. Take deep breaths and good luck!

Lizards, Bees, and (Gasp!) Butterflies

Working out in the gym can become repetitive and boring. That’s why it’s good to change up the routine and do something else like go hiking, as my husband and I did this past week.

We had traveled the path before, so we knew what to expect. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop me from worrying.

As my husband and I hiked the trail, I tuned in to nature. For example, I was very aware of insects - possibly mosquitos - trying to bite me. While slapping them away, I began to wonder, “What if the trees are full of ticks and one falls on me?” (Actually, this is one of my greatest fears while in the woods, probably because a tick landed on me during recess in the fifth-grade.) I also was aware of slight drop offs and worried about losing my footing and slipping down one.

Then, without warning, leaves began to rattle. My first thought: It’s a snake! Instead, what emerged, was a cute, cuddly squirrel. Not long afterwards, more rattling leaves caught our attention. “Did you see the size of that lizard?” my husband asked. Unfortunately - or probably fortunately in my case - I did not see it.

We resumed our walk, and it was not long before we heard the rattling of more leaves. Up ahead, not far from the trail, five squirrels were playing together and chasing each other. It was such a cute scene and made my worries fade until bees (or maybe they were yellow jackets) started buzzing in my ear and chasing me.

So I waved my hands in front of my face. And ran.

“Watch out! Don’t trip over the roots!” my husband yelled after me.

By the time my husband caught up with me, I had successfully avoided the bees (or yellow jackets). We were almost to the end of the trail when a black insect flew up in my face. I screamed. My husband laughed.

“Are you scared of a butterfly?” he asked.

“No,” I said as I noticed the insect was a beautiful butterfly - black with white markings. “I couldn’t tell what it was at first. You know I love butterflies.”

I sighed. This was supposed to be a stress-free way to get some exercise, and all I did the entire time was worry about what could happen. Why? Maybe it's because I have bad luck with bugs. They're usually attracted to me and cause me to have huge bug bites. Or maybe it's because nature can be so unpredictable.


Either way, could you imagine me on an episode of “Man vs. Wild”?

Things Aren’t Always As Bad As They Seem

There it was. Just as the radar had promised.

The cloud was very dark, almost purple. If it hadn’t been so ominous, it might have been even pretty. But I knew what it could cause - heavy rain, lightening, and gusty winds. My husband and I were heading away from the storm, but it would be only a matter of time before it reached us.

Thankfully, we arrived home before the storm hit. And to our surprise, the storm wasn’t as bad as it had looked.

Huh. Weird, I thought.

As a worrywart, this seems to happen a lot. I tend to worry before there is anything to worry about. I can see a potential problem (or at least I think I do sometimes), and then nothing happens. Like the recent storm, I thought it was going to be one of the strongest storms I had ever experienced, but then not much happened. We had some rain and thunder and lightening, but not much else. I had worried about nothing. Again. I had unnecessarily stressed myself out. Again.

And I hope I’m worrying about nothing now. As I’ve said before, I have a vascular condition on one of my legs and one of my biggest worries is blood clots. Recently, I went to the doctor and found out that while the veins in my legs look pretty good, I have a couple of spots that are similar to varicose veins. The doctor didn’t seem too worried about them, so I left feeling relieved. Until now.

My leg has started aching at times, but I know I shouldn’t be concerned about it because the doctor reassured me that there was nothing to worry about. I know before I’ve mentioned the idea of creating a list of things that I’ve worried about but never happened. I think this would be good time to do that to help me stop worrying about my leg.

Here’s a sample of my list (I say sample because this has the potential to be a long list):

Being caught in a tornado (knock on wood, this hasn’t happened).
Getting a blood clot on an airplane (knock on wood, this hasn’t happened).
Seeing rain on my wedding day (the weather ended up being absolutely perfect!).
Slipping on ice in the snowstorms this past winter (by the time I drove by myself, the ice had melted from the major roadways).
Traveling to Germany by myself and getting lost at the airport (it ended up being a breeze finding my way around - even though I don’t speak German!).
Driving and getting lost in unfamiliar areas, especially in downtown areas (the GPS is a great invention and has helped me to find my way a lot).
Getting sick by eating unfamiliar foods in foreign countries (i.e., octopus in Italy).

Looking at this list, I have to say I feel a little silly having worried about such things. But hindsight’s 20/20, right? It’s nice to look back on the things that I thought were going to end poorly and realize that they weren’t as bad as they had seemed at the time. I must keep this in mind when I start worrying again...

Are Cell Phones Dangerous?

We use them all the time. We use them to talk to each other, text, send emails, and take photos. In fact, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t own one.

But are cell phones dangerous to our health?
According to this article, cell phones probably aren’t dangerous, but it’ll still take some more time before we know for sure.

For a while now, I’ve been aware of the possibility that cell phones could be a cause of cancer. This hasn’t stopped me from using one, though (I know, shocker). I do try to use my earpiece as much as possible. Using my earpiece gives me some comfort and eliminates some concerns, but of course, I still worry about it.

But every time there’s a new piece of technology, it seems like questions arise concerning its safety. When the television was invented, people worried about the amount of radiation it emitted. And when the microwave was invented, people worried about the same thing. But we are still watching TV and heating up food. We’ll probably be using cell phones years from now without any problems, as well, but time will tell.

In the meantime, I’ll continue taking the precautions suggested in the noted article: limit cell phone use, keep the phone away from my head when talking, and use an earpiece. Like I always say, I’d rather worry about nothing than something.