What a Difference a Year Makes

Last January I was frantic. Snow - lots of snow - was falling, and ice coated the roads for days. And I had to drive in it.

This January, I haven’t been worrying as much. Temperatures have been too warm for snow or ice (thank goodness!), and a few days have felt more like spring. And it’s not just the lack of of bad weather causing me to worry less.

So just what has helped me to worry less, you ask?

Well, this blog. And just think - I almost didn’t create it.

A year ago, I debated (okay, more like worried) about starting this blog. I enjoy writing, so I wanted to create an avenue that would allow me to not only do what I love to do, but also express my concerns and maybe help other worrywarts along the way. Writing is therapeutic, so what better way to help myself break the habit of worrying? Of course, I had concerns about creating a blog. Would people like it? Would people understand my concerns? Would people, especially worrywarts, be able to relate? Would it be safe to post information about myself on the Internet for all to see? Would I have enough material for a blog? Would my advice help people? Would I be able to take my own advice? Would I--

Okay. You get the point.

Now that it has been one year since I created “Worrywart Tales,” I can say that I’m glad I started the blog and I think it has helped me tackle my worry habit. It also feels good knowing that maybe - just maybe - my experiences and suggestions are helping others.

My worrying definitely has decreased in the last year, thanks to not only the blog, but also the new techniques I’ve tried since last January. I can’t tell you how much the imagery and worry time techniques have made a difference in the past few months. And if it weren’t for the blog, I don’t know if I would have been as motivated to attempt them.

It really is incredible to look back and see how far I have come in a year. Every time something went wrong or I thought it could go wrong, I acted as if the world were coming to an end. Now, at least I don’t act like that every time. In fact, just the other day my husband and I were watching the news and the meteorologist announced that a tornado watch had expired.

“Hmm,” I said, shrugging. “I didn’t even know we were under a tornado watch!”

To Do List: Worry

Schedule a time to worry.

When I first heard this advice, I thought it would be impossible to follow. Scheduling a time to worry would mean I was giving myself permission to worry. And why would I do that? Wasn’t my goal not to worry?

After much skepticism, I decided to try this technique about a month ago. And believe it or not, I have seen surprising results!

The first week I had a worry time for 30 minutes each day. At first, I wasn’t sure when I should set aside time to worry. In the morning? During my lunch break? After work?

It turns out after work was the best time for me to worry. Why? Well, because every time I had a worrisome thought during the day, I told myself, “You can’t think about that now. You can think about that during your worry time later tonight.”

When 8:00 appeared on the digital clock, I began to worry. All of the anxious thoughts that I had tossed aside during the day came back to me, and I discussed them (okay, more like spilled them) to my husband. As 8:30 neared, my husband warned me, “You have only five more minutes left to worry.” Then, “You only have one more minute to worry,” he would say.

Miraculously, unnecessary thoughts made their escape from my mind at the end of the worry time. I was then free to live my life without any cares - until the next worry time.

This routine happened for about a week. Then, something amazing happened: I didn’t care to worry!

Once I started to train my brain to be more positive, my worrying started to decrease. During the second week of this exercise, I continued to tell myself during the day that I could worry about anything during my worry time. But then when my worry time came, I either forgot what I had been worrying about or I felt so good that I didn’t want to ruin my good mood with worrying!

Now, don’t get me wrong. I still worry. I just haven’t been worrying as much or as often.

This technique, coupled with the imagery technique (I imagine I am throwing away my worries), has helped me greatly. While I have seen much improvement, I still need practice. Hopefully, with time, not worrying about insignificant things will become second nature.

No Worrying In 2012 (Hopefully)

Wouldn’t it be great not worrying about anything? To go about your day and not let anything (or anyone) bother you? To live your life to the fullest without fearing the unknown?

Just imagine how enjoyable and less stressful life would be if we didn’t worry unnecessarily, especially us worrywarts. Just think about all of the things we could accomplish and experience if we didn’t let unnecessary thoughts and fears invade our lives. Oh, if only I could worry less...

I very much admire those people who seem to be able to go with the flow and not let little things get to them. My husband is one of those people. Whenever I bring up a potential problem, he just says, “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” and moves on with his life. I also have a friend who, if I express a concern (even about her), shrugs her shoulders and says, “Whatever.” I have another friend who doesn’t let worrying stop her from living her life; she says it doesn’t do any good to worry and that it’s not going to change anything.

My New Year’s resolution for 2012 is to stop worrying so much and be more like the carefree people in my life. It’s a lofty goal, especially considering some people think the world is going to end in a year (believe it or not, but this is one thing I haven’t worried much about). Do I think I can achieve this New Year’s resolution? I think so. This past year I have come a long way. Do I still worry? Of course I do, but I am getting better at not obsessing over unnecessary thoughts. Negative thoughts will enter my mind, but I dismiss them faster and get my mind on other happier things.

Worrying and fear have held me back most of my life. Yes, there are some things I have accomplished despite my worrying (i.e., flying to Europe by myself a few years ago), but there are other things I would love to accomplish if fear weren’t standing in my way (i.e., travel more, publish a novel).

I think 2012 would be a good year to get over my fears. I mean, why not enjoy life before the world ends, right?

Lol! Just kidding.

I hope.

So if you are a worrywart, is your New Year’s resolution to stop worrying so much? If so, how do you plan to achieve it?

Happy New Year!

Throwing Away Worries

As the ball flew up into the air, my eyes filled with fear. I could see the man’s racquet quickly approaching the ball, and I had an awful feeling that it was headed straight for me.

Unfortunately, I was right.

Before I had much time to react, the ball slammed into my leg, causing a piercing pain. Surprisingly, I was able to limp off of the court calmly and make my way to the clubhouse where I put ice on my leg. Could I have continued playing tennis with my injury? Probably, but I had more important things to worry about. What if my leg swelled up? What if a very bad bruise developed? What if the force of the ball caused a blood clot?

Despite my worrying, I tried to think about this injury rationally. So what if there was swelling and a big bruise developed? It’s natural to have swelling and bruising; it means the place of impact is already on it’s way to recovery. As for the blood clot concern, hopefully that was just a result of my vivid imagination. You see? My imagination is usually under control until something happens to trigger it!

It has been a couple of weeks since my injury, and the bruise (which was huge and included every color of the rainbow) has finally gone away. I’m still worried about it, though. Why? Because my leg continues to be tender. You would think that once the bruise disappeared, my leg would be healed. So why hasn’t it healed? What else was damaged? Will my leg ever heal? (I know, I’m being a little dramatic, but that’s part of being a worrywart.)

Luckily, I’ve started employing a technique that has helped to keep my mind off of my leg (among other worries). And believe it or not, it has worked for me.

Whenever a worrisome thought intrudes my mind, I tell myself that it’s nothing to worry about. Then, I imagine myself crumbling up a piece of paper and throwing it away in a garbage can. I find this type of imagery very effective because when I throw away the piece of paper, I’m also throwing away a worry. Once you throw away something, you don’t think about it again, and you move on to the next moment. The same is with imagining a worry has been tossed aside like it is nothing. As soon as the "paper" is in the garbage, I can forget about the worrisome thought and move on with my life.

I highly recommend this technique for worrywarts, as well as for anyone consumed with an unnecessary worrisome thought. And you don’t have to imagine crumbling up a piece of paper to get rid of your worries. It could be anything! For example, you could imagine releasing a butterfly into the wild. If you’re a worrywart like me, you probably have a vivid imagination; use it to your advantage!

So what techniques do you use to forget about your worries? I'm very interested to find techniques that work!

Changing My Perspective - One Day at a Time

I know it has been a while since I’ve posted something. But trust me. It’s not because I haven’t been worrying.

Instead, I have been employing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and trying my best to stop worrying every time something negative triggers obsessive thoughts.

So how has it been going so far? So far so good!

Whenever I start to worry about something, I try to immediately change my thought process. I tell myself, “No, you can’t think like that. Everything’s going to be okay. And even if something bad happens, there’s not much you can do about it.” Then, I try to get my mind on other things. I read a book, watch a funny TV show or movie, call a friend, or shop.

There have been a few times when I couldn’t get pass my worrying, though. For example, one time I had to drive in the rain at night. This was something I could do all the time without worrying (it’s just a little rain, for goodness sake!). But now that I’m older, I realize all of the bad things that could happen while driving in the rain (i.e., car accident and...er...car accident). Now that I’m trying to change my perspective on many things, I know that driving in the rain at night can be just as dangerous as driving in the rain in the daytime or even without any rain, for that matter. So then why all of the extra worry?

Once you start changing your perspective, it can make such a difference! You begin living in the moment and enjoying life to the fullest. I have to admit, though, it takes a while to change your perspective; it doesn’t just happen overnight. You have to be patient with yourself and believe that you can overcome your worrying.

I know I can do it! And if you’re a worrywart like me, I know you can do it, too!

How 9/11 Changed My Worrying

As long as I can remember, I’ve been a worrywart. When I was nine years old, I drilled the doctor before I was rolled into the operating room to get my tonsils out. I recall asking him, “Can people die from getting their tonsils out?”

The doctor actually replied by saying that yes, it was possible, but not likely. At nine years old, that wasn’t very comforting to hear, but he was a doctor, so I figured he knew what he was doing and trusted him without ever questioning anything again.

After September 11, 2001, though, my mind went into overdrive and my worrying intensified. As I think back to that time period a decade later, to my surprise, my worrying did not get worse immediately after those tragic events. In the days following the tragedies, I was focused on what had happened and how the nation would recover. In fact, only a few months after September 11, I flew on an airplane; I was determined to keep living a normal life without fear.

Ground Zero in 2003.

But for some reason, time did not heal all of the wounds for me. As more time went by, the more worried I became that there could be another attack. Believe it or not, though, about two years after 9/11, I visited New York City for the first time and paid my respects at Ground Zero. Was I worried about something happening? As far as I can remember, no. A few years later, I visited New York City again, and this time, I worried the entire time I was at the airport and on the airplane. In fact, I stressed myself out so much that I now have reappearing red marks on my forehead (which I have worried about and got checked out and shouldn’t be anything to worry about).

I’m not sure why I worried more on my second trip to New York City than on my first one, but since 9/11, I tend to worry more about little things. I also worry more about things that could happen. So why do I worry like this? I think it’s because what happened on September 11 was so unexpected. It made me rethink what’s important and how precious life is, so much so that I can’t seem to stop over thinking, well, everything.

While I will always remember those who lost their lives on 9/11, I also need to remember that worrying can’t fix problems or prevent them. As much as I would like to think that my worrying is somehow helping me or the world, it isn’t.

Que Sera Sera, right?

When It’s Difficult Not To Worry

Just try not to think about it and live your life.

Oh, how I wish I could follow this advice. It’s so easy to say, yet so difficult to do.

This past weekend I experienced sharp abdominal pains. My husband rushed me to the doctor, who couldn’t tell me with confidence what caused my suffering. “You’ll need to visit your regular doctor on Monday,” he said, not seeming very worried about my condition.

While you would think visiting the doctor would have put my mind at ease, it did not. In fact, it caused me to worry even more. Why? Because while the doctor didn’t seem to think I had much to worry about, he was not 100 percent sure about what was causing my pain. With no definite answer, “what ifs” plagued my mind. What if it’s cancer? What if it really is my appendix? It’s very difficult not to worry when there are pains telling you otherwise.

I tried to concentrate on other things like writing this blog entry, talking with friends, and reading. In fact, I’ve been reading “Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive,” which encourages positive thoughts over worrying. Unfortunately, these things did not help; the pain was a constant reminder that there was something wrong.

If I could just think positive, as the book suggests, then maybe I can help out my body. The mind is very powerful, more powerful than we may ever know. If thinking positive can have positive affects on the body, then surely negative thoughts can have negative affects, as well. My worrying may be causing my body more harm than good, so I must replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

Like the doctor had suggested, I visited my regular doctor today. Turns out, I shouldn’t have been worrying as much as I had been (thank goodness!).

So the next time I start worrying, I should keep in mind this quote by Norman Vincent Peale (it’s quoted in “Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive”): “Change your thoughts and you change your world.”