No Worrying In 2012 (Hopefully)

Wouldn’t it be great not worrying about anything? To go about your day and not let anything (or anyone) bother you? To live your life to the fullest without fearing the unknown?

Just imagine how enjoyable and less stressful life would be if we didn’t worry unnecessarily, especially us worrywarts. Just think about all of the things we could accomplish and experience if we didn’t let unnecessary thoughts and fears invade our lives. Oh, if only I could worry less...

I very much admire those people who seem to be able to go with the flow and not let little things get to them. My husband is one of those people. Whenever I bring up a potential problem, he just says, “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” and moves on with his life. I also have a friend who, if I express a concern (even about her), shrugs her shoulders and says, “Whatever.” I have another friend who doesn’t let worrying stop her from living her life; she says it doesn’t do any good to worry and that it’s not going to change anything.

My New Year’s resolution for 2012 is to stop worrying so much and be more like the carefree people in my life. It’s a lofty goal, especially considering some people think the world is going to end in a year (believe it or not, but this is one thing I haven’t worried much about). Do I think I can achieve this New Year’s resolution? I think so. This past year I have come a long way. Do I still worry? Of course I do, but I am getting better at not obsessing over unnecessary thoughts. Negative thoughts will enter my mind, but I dismiss them faster and get my mind on other happier things.

Worrying and fear have held me back most of my life. Yes, there are some things I have accomplished despite my worrying (i.e., flying to Europe by myself a few years ago), but there are other things I would love to accomplish if fear weren’t standing in my way (i.e., travel more, publish a novel).

I think 2012 would be a good year to get over my fears. I mean, why not enjoy life before the world ends, right?

Lol! Just kidding.

I hope.

So if you are a worrywart, is your New Year’s resolution to stop worrying so much? If so, how do you plan to achieve it?

Happy New Year!

Throwing Away Worries

As the ball flew up into the air, my eyes filled with fear. I could see the man’s racquet quickly approaching the ball, and I had an awful feeling that it was headed straight for me.

Unfortunately, I was right.

Before I had much time to react, the ball slammed into my leg, causing a piercing pain. Surprisingly, I was able to limp off of the court calmly and make my way to the clubhouse where I put ice on my leg. Could I have continued playing tennis with my injury? Probably, but I had more important things to worry about. What if my leg swelled up? What if a very bad bruise developed? What if the force of the ball caused a blood clot?

Despite my worrying, I tried to think about this injury rationally. So what if there was swelling and a big bruise developed? It’s natural to have swelling and bruising; it means the place of impact is already on it’s way to recovery. As for the blood clot concern, hopefully that was just a result of my vivid imagination. You see? My imagination is usually under control until something happens to trigger it!

It has been a couple of weeks since my injury, and the bruise (which was huge and included every color of the rainbow) has finally gone away. I’m still worried about it, though. Why? Because my leg continues to be tender. You would think that once the bruise disappeared, my leg would be healed. So why hasn’t it healed? What else was damaged? Will my leg ever heal? (I know, I’m being a little dramatic, but that’s part of being a worrywart.)

Luckily, I’ve started employing a technique that has helped to keep my mind off of my leg (among other worries). And believe it or not, it has worked for me.

Whenever a worrisome thought intrudes my mind, I tell myself that it’s nothing to worry about. Then, I imagine myself crumbling up a piece of paper and throwing it away in a garbage can. I find this type of imagery very effective because when I throw away the piece of paper, I’m also throwing away a worry. Once you throw away something, you don’t think about it again, and you move on to the next moment. The same is with imagining a worry has been tossed aside like it is nothing. As soon as the "paper" is in the garbage, I can forget about the worrisome thought and move on with my life.

I highly recommend this technique for worrywarts, as well as for anyone consumed with an unnecessary worrisome thought. And you don’t have to imagine crumbling up a piece of paper to get rid of your worries. It could be anything! For example, you could imagine releasing a butterfly into the wild. If you’re a worrywart like me, you probably have a vivid imagination; use it to your advantage!

So what techniques do you use to forget about your worries? I'm very interested to find techniques that work!

Changing My Perspective - One Day at a Time

I know it has been a while since I’ve posted something. But trust me. It’s not because I haven’t been worrying.

Instead, I have been employing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and trying my best to stop worrying every time something negative triggers obsessive thoughts.

So how has it been going so far? So far so good!

Whenever I start to worry about something, I try to immediately change my thought process. I tell myself, “No, you can’t think like that. Everything’s going to be okay. And even if something bad happens, there’s not much you can do about it.” Then, I try to get my mind on other things. I read a book, watch a funny TV show or movie, call a friend, or shop.

There have been a few times when I couldn’t get pass my worrying, though. For example, one time I had to drive in the rain at night. This was something I could do all the time without worrying (it’s just a little rain, for goodness sake!). But now that I’m older, I realize all of the bad things that could happen while driving in the rain (i.e., car accident and...er...car accident). Now that I’m trying to change my perspective on many things, I know that driving in the rain at night can be just as dangerous as driving in the rain in the daytime or even without any rain, for that matter. So then why all of the extra worry?

Once you start changing your perspective, it can make such a difference! You begin living in the moment and enjoying life to the fullest. I have to admit, though, it takes a while to change your perspective; it doesn’t just happen overnight. You have to be patient with yourself and believe that you can overcome your worrying.

I know I can do it! And if you’re a worrywart like me, I know you can do it, too!

How 9/11 Changed My Worrying

As long as I can remember, I’ve been a worrywart. When I was nine years old, I drilled the doctor before I was rolled into the operating room to get my tonsils out. I recall asking him, “Can people die from getting their tonsils out?”

The doctor actually replied by saying that yes, it was possible, but not likely. At nine years old, that wasn’t very comforting to hear, but he was a doctor, so I figured he knew what he was doing and trusted him without ever questioning anything again.

After September 11, 2001, though, my mind went into overdrive and my worrying intensified. As I think back to that time period a decade later, to my surprise, my worrying did not get worse immediately after those tragic events. In the days following the tragedies, I was focused on what had happened and how the nation would recover. In fact, only a few months after September 11, I flew on an airplane; I was determined to keep living a normal life without fear.

Ground Zero in 2003.

But for some reason, time did not heal all of the wounds for me. As more time went by, the more worried I became that there could be another attack. Believe it or not, though, about two years after 9/11, I visited New York City for the first time and paid my respects at Ground Zero. Was I worried about something happening? As far as I can remember, no. A few years later, I visited New York City again, and this time, I worried the entire time I was at the airport and on the airplane. In fact, I stressed myself out so much that I now have reappearing red marks on my forehead (which I have worried about and got checked out and shouldn’t be anything to worry about).

I’m not sure why I worried more on my second trip to New York City than on my first one, but since 9/11, I tend to worry more about little things. I also worry more about things that could happen. So why do I worry like this? I think it’s because what happened on September 11 was so unexpected. It made me rethink what’s important and how precious life is, so much so that I can’t seem to stop over thinking, well, everything.

While I will always remember those who lost their lives on 9/11, I also need to remember that worrying can’t fix problems or prevent them. As much as I would like to think that my worrying is somehow helping me or the world, it isn’t.

Que Sera Sera, right?

When It’s Difficult Not To Worry

Just try not to think about it and live your life.

Oh, how I wish I could follow this advice. It’s so easy to say, yet so difficult to do.

This past weekend I experienced sharp abdominal pains. My husband rushed me to the doctor, who couldn’t tell me with confidence what caused my suffering. “You’ll need to visit your regular doctor on Monday,” he said, not seeming very worried about my condition.

While you would think visiting the doctor would have put my mind at ease, it did not. In fact, it caused me to worry even more. Why? Because while the doctor didn’t seem to think I had much to worry about, he was not 100 percent sure about what was causing my pain. With no definite answer, “what ifs” plagued my mind. What if it’s cancer? What if it really is my appendix? It’s very difficult not to worry when there are pains telling you otherwise.

I tried to concentrate on other things like writing this blog entry, talking with friends, and reading. In fact, I’ve been reading “Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive,” which encourages positive thoughts over worrying. Unfortunately, these things did not help; the pain was a constant reminder that there was something wrong.

If I could just think positive, as the book suggests, then maybe I can help out my body. The mind is very powerful, more powerful than we may ever know. If thinking positive can have positive affects on the body, then surely negative thoughts can have negative affects, as well. My worrying may be causing my body more harm than good, so I must replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

Like the doctor had suggested, I visited my regular doctor today. Turns out, I shouldn’t have been worrying as much as I had been (thank goodness!).

So the next time I start worrying, I should keep in mind this quote by Norman Vincent Peale (it’s quoted in “Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive”): “Change your thoughts and you change your world.”

Worrying Adds Unnecessary Stress

Here is my very first guest post by my longtime friend, Rosie, who is a worrywart like me. She is the mother of two children (ages 6 and 3), so they probably have something to do with her worrying. I’ve also noticed her worrying increases the older she gets (or maybe it’s just the longer she is friends with me and my worrying is rubbing off on her). Hope you can find some comfort in her post!

What is stress?

Stress is dealing with the crazy drivers at rush hour when you just want to get home. Stress is worrying about your children getting hurt. Stress is moving (I should know because I just did.) Stress is adjusting to a new job. Stress is trying to please everyone when you just can't. Stress is worrying about your health. Stress is...well, you get the point.

Stress is a part of everyday life for everyone. It consumes the lives of many of us. Gone are the carefree days we experienced as children. Oh, some days I wish to be a child again!

I worry and stress myself out a lot. My heart races, and I feel sick to my stomach and like things are spinning. What do I stress about? Little things sometimes. Like writing this article. Will anyone actually like it?

My husband tells me I need to relax. I worry about him and my kids and friends and family and sometimes just life in general. I have been doing better, though (somewhat, anyway). I am trying to think things through before I throw them out of proportion and stress out for no reason. My biggest stresses lately have been moving and buying our first home, as well as worrying about first bills and payments that we haven't had before. Maybe it won't be as bad as I think it is, but it is a big stress in my life.

So, if you are like me and worry which causes stress, try to take things with a grain of salt and try not to worry so much. Take deep breaths and good luck!

Lizards, Bees, and (Gasp!) Butterflies

Working out in the gym can become repetitive and boring. That’s why it’s good to change up the routine and do something else like go hiking, as my husband and I did this past week.

We had traveled the path before, so we knew what to expect. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop me from worrying.

As my husband and I hiked the trail, I tuned in to nature. For example, I was very aware of insects - possibly mosquitos - trying to bite me. While slapping them away, I began to wonder, “What if the trees are full of ticks and one falls on me?” (Actually, this is one of my greatest fears while in the woods, probably because a tick landed on me during recess in the fifth-grade.) I also was aware of slight drop offs and worried about losing my footing and slipping down one.

Then, without warning, leaves began to rattle. My first thought: It’s a snake! Instead, what emerged, was a cute, cuddly squirrel. Not long afterwards, more rattling leaves caught our attention. “Did you see the size of that lizard?” my husband asked. Unfortunately - or probably fortunately in my case - I did not see it.

We resumed our walk, and it was not long before we heard the rattling of more leaves. Up ahead, not far from the trail, five squirrels were playing together and chasing each other. It was such a cute scene and made my worries fade until bees (or maybe they were yellow jackets) started buzzing in my ear and chasing me.

So I waved my hands in front of my face. And ran.

“Watch out! Don’t trip over the roots!” my husband yelled after me.

By the time my husband caught up with me, I had successfully avoided the bees (or yellow jackets). We were almost to the end of the trail when a black insect flew up in my face. I screamed. My husband laughed.

“Are you scared of a butterfly?” he asked.

“No,” I said as I noticed the insect was a beautiful butterfly - black with white markings. “I couldn’t tell what it was at first. You know I love butterflies.”

I sighed. This was supposed to be a stress-free way to get some exercise, and all I did the entire time was worry about what could happen. Why? Maybe it's because I have bad luck with bugs. They're usually attracted to me and cause me to have huge bug bites. Or maybe it's because nature can be so unpredictable.


Either way, could you imagine me on an episode of “Man vs. Wild”?

Things Aren’t Always As Bad As They Seem

There it was. Just as the radar had promised.

The cloud was very dark, almost purple. If it hadn’t been so ominous, it might have been even pretty. But I knew what it could cause - heavy rain, lightening, and gusty winds. My husband and I were heading away from the storm, but it would be only a matter of time before it reached us.

Thankfully, we arrived home before the storm hit. And to our surprise, the storm wasn’t as bad as it had looked.

Huh. Weird, I thought.

As a worrywart, this seems to happen a lot. I tend to worry before there is anything to worry about. I can see a potential problem (or at least I think I do sometimes), and then nothing happens. Like the recent storm, I thought it was going to be one of the strongest storms I had ever experienced, but then not much happened. We had some rain and thunder and lightening, but not much else. I had worried about nothing. Again. I had unnecessarily stressed myself out. Again.

And I hope I’m worrying about nothing now. As I’ve said before, I have a vascular condition on one of my legs and one of my biggest worries is blood clots. Recently, I went to the doctor and found out that while the veins in my legs look pretty good, I have a couple of spots that are similar to varicose veins. The doctor didn’t seem too worried about them, so I left feeling relieved. Until now.

My leg has started aching at times, but I know I shouldn’t be concerned about it because the doctor reassured me that there was nothing to worry about. I know before I’ve mentioned the idea of creating a list of things that I’ve worried about but never happened. I think this would be good time to do that to help me stop worrying about my leg.

Here’s a sample of my list (I say sample because this has the potential to be a long list):

Being caught in a tornado (knock on wood, this hasn’t happened).
Getting a blood clot on an airplane (knock on wood, this hasn’t happened).
Seeing rain on my wedding day (the weather ended up being absolutely perfect!).
Slipping on ice in the snowstorms this past winter (by the time I drove by myself, the ice had melted from the major roadways).
Traveling to Germany by myself and getting lost at the airport (it ended up being a breeze finding my way around - even though I don’t speak German!).
Driving and getting lost in unfamiliar areas, especially in downtown areas (the GPS is a great invention and has helped me to find my way a lot).
Getting sick by eating unfamiliar foods in foreign countries (i.e., octopus in Italy).

Looking at this list, I have to say I feel a little silly having worried about such things. But hindsight’s 20/20, right? It’s nice to look back on the things that I thought were going to end poorly and realize that they weren’t as bad as they had seemed at the time. I must keep this in mind when I start worrying again...

Are Cell Phones Dangerous?

We use them all the time. We use them to talk to each other, text, send emails, and take photos. In fact, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t own one.

But are cell phones dangerous to our health?
According to this article, cell phones probably aren’t dangerous, but it’ll still take some more time before we know for sure.

For a while now, I’ve been aware of the possibility that cell phones could be a cause of cancer. This hasn’t stopped me from using one, though (I know, shocker). I do try to use my earpiece as much as possible. Using my earpiece gives me some comfort and eliminates some concerns, but of course, I still worry about it.

But every time there’s a new piece of technology, it seems like questions arise concerning its safety. When the television was invented, people worried about the amount of radiation it emitted. And when the microwave was invented, people worried about the same thing. But we are still watching TV and heating up food. We’ll probably be using cell phones years from now without any problems, as well, but time will tell.

In the meantime, I’ll continue taking the precautions suggested in the noted article: limit cell phone use, keep the phone away from my head when talking, and use an earpiece. Like I always say, I’d rather worry about nothing than something.

No Tornado Watches, No Tornado Warnings, Almost No Worries

While watching the red and yellow clumps slowly move on the radar, I thought I had a chance to make it home safely before the severe storms hit.

I quickly turned off the computer, grabbed my purse, and headed out of the office. Once outside, I was relieved to see that it wasn’t raining and the sky had lightened up a bit. “I’m leaving just in time,” I thought.

As I got closer to home, the darker it got. And then I saw it.

Straight ahead of me was one of the darkest clouds I had ever seen. And it looked just like a tornado.

I called my dad to ask him if he knew if we were under a tornado watch. “No, no,” he said. “There’s not a tornado watch. Hot and cold air have to meet, and we don’t have enough cold air coming through.”

“But there’s this cloud in front of me! It really looks like a tornado!” I protested.

My dad laughed at my useless worrying. “It’s not a tornado.”

So I dismissed the safety action plan that was forming in my head and ventured on to my home. About that time, a fellow worrywart called and asked me if I was driving. “I was just wondering,” she said, “because I see something that looks like a tornado near you.”

Action plan back on.

“I thought it looked like one, too! My dad says we’re not under a tornado watch, though,” I said, trying to stay calm.

Just then, a burst of wind violently shook my car, and I gripped the steering wheel. Rain began to fall, and lightening danced across the sky. I started to turn into a store parking lot, but I was so close to home and decided to stay on course.

I drove a little ways and then stopped at a red light. The trees began to sway with fury, and rain pounded my car. “If this light would just turn green now, I’d be able to make it home!” I yelled.

The light turned green and moments later as I was turning into my driveway, the wind picked up speed and blew sheets and sheets of rain. I had just made it.

When I was safely inside, I texted one of my friends, telling her of my ordeal. “At least there are no tornadoes,” she said.

Yes, there were no tornadoes (thank goodness!!). Unfortunately, my imagination ran away with me again and pictured the dark cloud turning into a real life tornado. I can’t seem to stop worrying about severe weather - especially when I’m driving in the middle of it. But it can be difficult to start conjuring up positive thoughts when the wind is shaking your car violently and the sky looks like it is going to fall on you.

Speaking of tornadoes, I recently visited Universal Studios and did the “Twister” ride. Actually, it’s more of a show than a ride. On a soundstage, they show how it was possible to make the scenes from “Twister” look so real. (On a side note, is it ironic that one of my favorite movies actually is “Twister”? I won’t watch it during tornado season, though.) Anyway, one of my friends had seen the “Twister” attraction before and joked that it may be therapeutic for me. After this most recent incident, I’m guessing that it was not therapeutic and I still need to find ways to stay calm during severe weather. Any ideas?

Just My Imagination?

You would think that having an active imagination would benefit a writer such as myself. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always benefit me. In fact, it sometimes hurts me.

When something goes wrong (or at least seems like it could go wrong), my mind goes into overdrive with so many questions. What if this happens? What if that happens? What if that person really meant this? What if this person really meant that? What is this person really thinking of me now? How will this affect my future?

Usually I come up with scenarios that you would find in Academy Award-winning films or disaster movies - depending on the situation, of course. For example, I recently hit my head on a shelf as I was standing up. The moment it happened, I began worrying that something was wrong. What if there was swelling underneath the skin? What if hitting my head had caused a concussion? What if the symptoms were delayed and then I didn’t find out until it was too late that something was wrong? What if...Okay. You get the idea.

The power of suggestion can cause much stress for worriers. Hearing just one word or feeling just one ache can create a string of possibilities and cause one’s imagination to run away with itself. This recently happened to a friend of mine. Her leg had been hurting for a while, and she began to worry about what it could be. As she was talking to me about it, her other leg began to hurt and then seconds later ceased hurting.

Obviously, the mind is very powerful and can trick you into thinking that something is wrong. I can be totally fine and not worrying about anything for most of the day, but then I’ll hear a disturbing news story or someone will ask me if I knew that, say, you can get staph infects in workout rooms. Hearing such news or random facts - that’s when my imagination begins to conjure up scary scenarios and I begin to worry.

A statue in William Shakespeare's hometown.

What’s the solution then? Turn off the TV and Internet and sit around in denial? No, denial’s probably not very healthy either. If a worrywart’s mind can be easily persuaded that there is something to worry about, maybe what I need to do is distract my mind before it lets my imagination run away from me. The next time something makes me worry, I should put on a romantic comedy or become immersed in a good book. If I’m out and about and not able to do these things, maybe I could carry a list of things that I’ve worried about but never happened.

Until then, here’s a quote by William Shakespeare that I find somewhat comforting: “Present fears are less than horrible imaginings.”

Letting Things Go

The tennis ball flew up in the air and then gradually fell towards me. If I hit the ball just right, it would be an easy put away at the net. I knew I could do it. I just knew it!

“I got it!” I yelled to my tennis partner.

Before I knew it, I had hit the ball. In the net. “Ugh!” I shrieked with disgust.

While I hit some pretty amazing shots during my match this past weekend (if I don’t say so myself), I can’t seem to concentrate on the fact that I played well. Instead, I’m too focused on the few shots that I missed that might have cost us the match and not able to let it go.

But isn’t that what many people tend to do at times? Instead of focusing on the good things in life, we dwell on the things that might have cost us something. Like, maybe you got behind an incredibly slow person on the way to work, and that person caused you to be in a bad mood the rest of the day because you were late. Or maybe you sat next to an annoying person in the movie theater and weren’t able to enjoy the film. Maybe you even bought the latest gadget and then found it cheaper somewhere else.

I think my inability to cease dwelling on such things that, in the end, aren’t that important, contributes to my worrying. Yes, I lost a tennis match, and there were some shots that I should have made. So what? It was a beautiful day, and I got some exercise while playing well. I should feel good about that and move on. There’s more to life than a tennis match anyway, right?

Before a match a couple of weeks ago, my tennis partner suggested that we just play our game and not worry about whether we won or lost. Throughout the match, this strategy seemed to be working. I was playing well and having fun and when we lost the match, I walked away without any worries or regrets.

I think I need to start thinking of life as a tennis match. In tennis, if you think too much about how you’re going to hit the ball and where you are going to place it, you tend to mess up. When you stop over thinking and just play your game, though, you win more points.

So maybe if I just stop analyzing everything (Why didn’t I do that? Why did I say that? What does that mean?) and just let things go, my worrying will begin to decrease. Like tennis, this will take some practice...

Copyright © 2011

Learning When Not To Worry

Concentrate on what you’re going to eat for your next meal.

Believe it or not, but this recent advice may just help to reduce the frequent worrying in my life. How, you ask? Well, instead of worrying about big things such as tornadoes, earthquakes, blood clots, etc., I should concentrate on insignificant things. Here are a few examples of questions I should ponder more often: What should I eat for dinner? Should I really buy those cute pair of shoes? Will “The Office” be good without Michael Scott?

I know it may sound silly to concentrate on unimportant issues in life, but if I focus my attention on smaller day-to-day happenings, the bigger ones that shouldn’t even be on my radar in the first place - unless it is in fact a tornado - may fade into the background. And fewer bigger worries equals less stress.

Since I was given this advice a few days ago, I’ve been trying to practice it. Surprisingly, it seemed to be working - until today. After working out this morning, my lower back began hurting. Did I think it was caused by carrying a heavy load of groceries yesterday? Or that I might have pulled something while working out? Of course not! If you have lower back pain, it must mean you have kidney problems!

Then, I remembered my new technique: think about insignificant issues. It’s difficult, though, trying to think of something else when there is pain telling your mind that, yes, there is something wrong.

While my back is still hurting (it hurts only when I move, which I find a little comforting because it is probably a pulled muscle), I have something else to worry about now. The threat of tornadoes. As I sit here writing this, a line of storms is moving this way. I know I said I would try to watch my stress levels more than the radar, but it’s so difficult not to watch where the red and yellow clumps are heading. Better safe than sorry, right?

That said, I actually feel quit calm right now despite the pending doom, I mean, storms. I have a book I can read to keep my mind on other things. I’m also trying to win a game of Words With Friends. And, of course, I have my husband, who knows how to make me laugh.

Now, what should my husband and I eat for dinner tomorrow?












                                                               Copyright © 2011

Shake, Rattle, and...Worry

I was in a deep sleep when my bed began to shake. When I awoke, my first thought was, “Who is jumping on my bed?”

My eyes traveled to the end of the bed. No one was there. Could it be a ghost, I wondered.

I placed my hand on the bed to stop it from shaking, but the effort was useless. That’s when I fully awoke and realized that I was in an earthquake.

While Atlanta is on a fault line, this was the first earthquake I had ever experienced. I’ve been to California, where I worried about being in possible earthquakes, but turns out I felt my first earthquake in my home state. Ironic, huh?

Not surprisingly, the earthquake caused me to worry, especially since it was considered a moderate quake, rating 4.9 on the Richter Scale.

I began worrying about earthquakes way before the one that occurred here in 2003, though. And I’ve started to worry about them again after the earthquake and tsunami that hit Japan. I’ve been worried about all of the people in Japan, and they are in my thoughts and prayers every day.

Of course, the natural disasters in Japan have led to more worries about earthquakes happening here. I worry about the devastation that they could cause and being trapped because of one. I know Georgia hasn’t seen big earthquakes for 100 to 200 years, but the earth is alive and always evolving. You can’t be too sure about anything these days, and that is very worrisome for a worrywart like myself. The more I dwell on the things that could happen, the more worried and stressed I become. The earth is something we cannot control, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Developing a positive mindset and letting go of the things I can’t control is definitely something I can control, though. Now, if only I could learn how to do that. Any ideas?

Copyright © 2011

No Worries...Right?

I had just returned from the gym yesterday morning when an idea hit me. I’m not going to worry about anything today, I thought.

Maybe it was the endorphins talking after the intense workout, but nevertheless, I thought it was an excellent idea. Could I not worry for an entire day? Really? Me?

For the past two days I felt anxious, like I had to worry about something. I’m not sure why I felt that way, but it began to tire me. For just one day I wanted to know what it felt like not to worry about anything. So I got ready for the day and with a spring in my step, headed to work.

Not long after my departure from home, I found myself behind a slow car. Don’t get upset, I told myself. Everything will be fine, and you will get to work on time.

The car soon turned, and finally I was able to go the speed limit. See, I told myself, that wasn’t so bad.

Once at work, I poured a cup of coffee (a drink I never cared for until I started regularly working out in the mornings). Not long afterwards, I began to feel jittery and wondered if the coffee could be affecting my heart negatively. The day before I had read an article on Yahoo! about how coffee can be good for you, so I fought to push all of the negative thoughts aside.

Later in the afternoon, I felt a tingling sensation on my head. That’s nothing, I thought.

Then, it happened again. It’s nothing, so don’t worry about it, I told myself.

But then it happened yet again, and I couldn’t Google the symptoms fast enough. The search found so many things it could have been, but in the end, I think the tingling was caused by a pinched nerve in my neck.

So I failed at my first attempt not to worry all day long. It was an ambitious challenge for a chronic worrier such as myself, but I shouldn’t worry about my failed attempt. For the first time in my life, I made the effort to eliminate useless worrying, and I should feel good about that.

Copyright © 2011

Worries In The Forecast

The glass doors slid open, and I stepped outside cautiously. It was raining, but the sky was lighter than it had been thirty minutes earlier. A jolt of relief ran through my body, and I took a deep breath. The threat of a tornado had passed, and it was safe to walk to my car.

Or so I thought.

A rumble of thunder rolled across the clouds, and I darted across the parking lot. Just as I lifted the remote to unlock my car, a flash of lightening flooded the sky. I began to run faster and tried to shut my umbrella, which is old and would not close easily. When I arrived at my car, I shoved the opened umbrella inside and quickly followed it.

I had made it. I was safe, but still shaking. What if I had gotten struck by lightening? Right before I had ventured out into the dying storm, a fellow worrywart told me she knows someone who got struck by lightening once, and the only thing that saved her were her rain boots. Of course, that’s all I could think of as I ran to the car last week.

So now that winter is nearing its end, I no longer have to worry about icy roads. Isn’t that great? Instead, I have tornadoes and severe weather to worry about for the next several months.

Why do I worry about the weather - whether it’s snow or ice or tornadoes - so much? Maybe because it’s something I can’t control. I know many people say not to worry about something if it’s out of your control, but that’s when I seem to worry about things the most - when they are out of my control. I think that’s why I worry about blood clots so much; even though regular exercise and staying active can help to prevent them, sometimes not much can stop the formation of the clots.

I know it’s not healthy to worry about things you can’t control; it’s extra stress on your heart, which can cause even more problems. Therefore, before we have another tornado watch, I am going to plan for a different type of tornado preparedness: cognitive reframing. According to About.com, this is one of the techniques used to help people who have a fear of tornadoes or severe storms developing into tornadoes. Cognitive reframing is as simple as learning to stop negative thoughts and replacing them with more positive ones. This is something I know I should do all the time, not just during tornado season. However, since the chance of seeing a tornado is relatively low (I’ve been close to tornado paths, but haven’t been in one), this spring seems like a good time to start practicing this technique.

So next time there is a tornado watch, I’ll try to watch my stress levels more than the radar.

Copyright © 2011

It’s a Cold...It’s the Flu...It’s...It’s Nothing

A few nights ago I suddenly awoke from my sleep, rolled over and saw that it was four o’clock.

I was so tired, but not so tired that I couldn’t worry. Yes, the moment I awoke I began to worry. About two things.

First, I worried that I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep and would be extremely tired at work the next day. Then, I noticed my throat was hurting, so I began to worry I was getting sick.

Was I worried a cold was upon me? No, of course not. I had a cold last month, so my first suspicion was that it must be the flu. Not only was my throat hurting, but I also felt warm and very weak (like you do right before you get sick). Plus, I hadn’t gotten the flu shot, so it was the only logical explanation, right?

The next morning I didn’t feel horrible, but I also didn’t feel good. I rushed to the computer and searched WebMD (a favorite Website of the worrywarts I know) for flu symptoms.

Fever? Nope. Headache? Nope. Coughing? Nope. Aches and pains? Only a little. Weak and tired? Omg! Yes! Extreme exhaustion? Um, I don’t think so.

Despite the fact that I answered most of the questions negatively, I still thought I was coming down with the flu. I was tired and had a few aches and pains, so I thought it was only a matter of time before the flu attacked my body.

All day long at work I worried about coming down with the flu. I loaded up on Cold-Eeze and confided in fellow worrywarts at the office.

“How do you know when you’re getting the flu?” I asked one of them.

“It suddenly hits you,” she said. “You ache all over, and even wearing your clothes causes your body to hurt.”

Nope, I didn’t feel nearly that bad (thank goodness!). But I began to wonder if I should have gotten the flu shot this year. I had gotten it twice before because I was traveling abroad and didn’t want to take any risks. Of course, I had worried about the vaccine causing me to actually get the flu - or at least a little sick - but the only side effect I had was a sore arm.

Chicken noodle soup can help you feel better when you're sick. Too bad it can't help worrying.

Besides the fear of the vaccine actually causing the flu, I have heard other arguments for not getting the vaccine. Some people I know refuse to get the flu shot because they worry whatever else is included in the vaccine could harm them more than help them. There are also people who believe that vaccines are more of a moneymaker and sometimes may not even prevent the flu. Then, there is what I think is the most convincing argument: Our bodies are fascinating and built to fight off intruders. With a little vitamin C, zinc, and rest, the flu virus might be destroyed before it does any real damage.

But then, I also know people who get the flu shot every year and never have any problems with it. They say they have suffered from the flu before and never want to go through that again; the risk of getting the shot is better than the risk of getting the flu.

With so many different views on the flu shot, what is a worrywart to do?

Copyright © 2011

Picky Eater

“What does this look like?” My friend, Kim, delicately picked at her salad as she asked the question.

My friend, Amber, and I looked at each other uneasy before our eyes darted to her salad. The object in question did not look like lettuce or any other vegetable. What set it apart from the usual salad contents was the eyes. Yes, eyes. Oh, and the antennas.

She carefully removed the insect from the salad and laid it on the table. After a closer examination, we determined that it was a grasshopper.

Several days ago I had a similar experience as I sipped soup from one of my favorite restaurants. First, I found what I thought was an eyelash and removed it from the soup. I told myself not to panic because it very well could have been mine. Plus, I was so hungry and my lunch break was nearing its end. Then, a couple of minutes later, I discovered a dead insect in the soup. That’s when I put the top back on the container and threw it away.

Now, most people probably never would have found the insect in the soup. It was tiny and very well could have been mistaken for one of the soup’s ingredients. As a worrywart, though, I take the label “picky eater” to another level and examine my food before I eat it.

I’ve tried to trace this obsession with ensuring my food is safe to eat, and I think I’ve traced it. About ten years ago, my friend, Rosie, and I were eating at a restaurant where I had a fish sandwich. After I had a few bites, I noticed fuzz on the bread. There was just not one piece, but so much of it that Rosie and I joked that there must be such a thing as “hairy bread.”

I casually pushed this incident aside, thinking that it was an isolated incident. Soon afterwards, I noticed - without even really looking - that pieces of fuzz can be found on food at many restaurants. Which types of food do I normally notice fuzz on? Bread, chips, and French fries - unfortunately, the food I crave when I’m starving.

I know that fuzz and dust particles are constantly swarming in the air and there’s nothing we can do about it, but it just makes you wonder: How long has the food been sitting out if there was enough time for pieces of fuzz to fall on it? I know I’m a picky eater, but I really don’t want to be eating fuzz or dust along with my French fries. Doesn’t sound very appetizing or healthy.

I also know it may seem like a silly thing to worry about to some people, but I don’t want to ingest something that might make me sick or harm my body. As far as I know, I’ve never actually gotten sick from the food I eat, but the possibility’s out there. And if there’s one question that nags at worrywarts, it’s this: “What if?”


P.S. - A few days ago, it only snowed a little and didn’t stick to the roads. After I wrote the previous blog, I still worried about the snow affecting my plans. Then, the day before the snow showers, the weather report showed that the snow would be cleared out by the next morning.

I could have continued worrying about the snow sticking to the ground and making the roadways slick, but I didn’t. I kept telling myself that everything would work out, and it did! It was great not having that added load on my back!

Copyright © 2011

Draining Worries

Water gushed from the top of the water heater. A pool of liquid began to form in the containment pan beneath it.

It was only a matter of time before the pan would overflow, eventually soaking the hardwood floors.

“What are we going to do?” I asked my husband as he calmly evaluated the situation.

“We’ll have to call a plumber,” he answered.

It was nearing midnight, but I insisted that we call one right away. After speaking to two plumbers, it was determined that we needed to turn off the heater as soon as possible - and that a plumber would not be able to fix our water heater until the next morning.

How were we going to take a shower? Brush our teeth? Use the toilet?

My husband decided to turn on the water for only five minutes. Just enough time for me to take a quick - very quick - shower and fill a couple of bottles with water. Thus, the crisis was slightly averted  - until the next day.

Turns out the water heater needed to be replaced instead of fixed, which was going to take longer and more money. My husband wasn’t worried, though. While he had never installed a water heater before, he just knew he could do it.

I, on the other hand, had doubts and began to worry. What could possibly go wrong? I wasn’t exactly sure, but I just knew there was something that could go wrong! He ignored my suggestions of calling a plumber, and lo and behold, my brilliant husband successfully installed the water heater!

The next day at work, Todd called me.

“Hey,” he said. “Remember that time you didn’t think I’d be able to install the water heater and I did?”

I couldn’t help laughing at his joke - and myself. Lesson learned: have more faith that situations will work out for the good.

I’m going to try to put this lesson to good use, too. It could snow again later this week. Instead of dwelling on how the snow could affect my plans, I’m going to try to think positive. This week, it will not snow!

Or, if it does, it will only be a little.

Copyright © 2011

Why I May Never Visit Australia

Here I am at the U.S. Open in 2005.

Every January I find myself watching the Australian Open and wishing I could be there, enjoying the warmth Down Under.

In fact, one of my dreams is to attend every Grand Slam: the Australian Open, the French Open, Wimbledon, and the U.S. Open. I’ve traveled to France and England, but unfortunately, I wasn’t visiting those countries during the tennis tournaments. I have been to the U.S. Open in New York, though, so only three more Grand Slams to go! (Actually, I’ve been to New York City twice, and do I have some stories from those trips that would make for some good blog posts!)

But back to the Australian Open. Since this tournament is located on the other side of the world, I fear my dream of visiting every Grand Slam will never come true. Yes, the expense and ability to take a significant number of vacation days from work are important factors in whether such a lofty trip would be possible, but there’s one other factor I consider when I dream about traveling to Australia.

Blood clots.

Yes, blood clots.

Several years ago I heard a story on the news about a woman who died after a long flight to Australia. The cause of death? A blood clot.

Well, as you can imagine, I freaked out when I heard the news. I immediately turned to my computer and searched everything I could find about blood clots and how to prevent them. You would think that learning the facts (i.e., not staying immobile on long flights helps to prevent blood clots) would comfort me, but instead, it caused me to worry even more. Why? Because sometimes there’s just nothing you can do to prevent them, and sometimes the symptoms don’t appear until it’s too late. Go ahead. Google “blood clots,” and you may become as worried as I am about them (sorry if I’m giving other worrywarts more to worry about!).

So now, even when I’m on a two-hour flight, I make sure I get up and move around the plane at least once. I even roll my ankles at my seat, just for safe measure. If I take these kinds of measures on a two-hour or eight-hour flight, can you imagine what I would do traveling to Australia? Heck, I’ve even been rolling my ankles while sitting here typing this blog!

Last year I did get some worrisome news when I went to the doctor. Supposedly, one of my legs has a vascular condition. Of course, I asked the doctor if it could lead to a blood clot, and he assured me that it wouldn’t lead to that. I still can’t help worrying about it, though.

But maybe if I did go to Australia I would stop worrying so much about everything. During the Australian Open, the sports commentators kept saying that Australia is the land of “no worries.” I like the sound of that.

Now, if I could just get there safely...

Copyright © 2011

Simple Explanation

When I awoke from a nap a couple of days ago, the side of my face was numb.

“Okay,” I thought. “It just needs to wake up, as well.”

I pinched and splashed water on my face, but neither of those actions mitigated the numbness. After taking a shower, my face still felt numb.

That’s when I began to worry.

What if the way I had slept had triggered something? What if something more serious was going on underneath my skin?

My husband wasn’t worried, though, because he had a feeling there was a simple explanation. He said my face probably felt numb because of the way I had gone to sleep on it - just like my hand or foot would have if I had slept wrong on them. Not a problem at all, right?

Actually, I think the real problem is the fact that I ignore the simple explanations and put all my eggs in the serious basket. Why? Because what if you ignored a minor pain or annoyance and it turned out the problem was something that you should have paid closer attention to? I know of people who had what seemed like a normal cough, but that cough was not just a cough; they later found out they had been in the early stages of lung cancer. When you hear stories like that, how could you not pay closer attention to your body? Am I the only one who does this?

So for now, I’m just going to try to move on from this incident and if it happens again, maybe I should get it checked out. Until then, I’m sure I’ll find something else to worry about.....

Copyright © 2011

Worries Melt Away

As my car slowly rolls down the ramp onto the interstate, I’m confident I’m going to make it.

“This isn’t so bad,” I think to myself. “The roads actually have been pretty clear.”

Then, just as I’m about to make it off of the ramp, my car slides. My first instinct is to step on the brakes. But wasn’t I told by numerous people that if you ever hit a patch of ice, don’t step on the brakes?

There’s barely enough room for another car to fit between my car and the one in front of me. I have to step on the brakes, though. If I don’t I could hit the car in front of me, and almost all of my worries concerning driving on the ice would be justified.

I slowly press down on the brakes. My car wiggles and continues sliding forward. Finally, it comes to a stop - right behind the car in front of me.

Luckily, that’s the only ice-related incident I had to deal with on Friday. Turns out I worried for nothing (thank goodness!).

My husband ended up suggesting a route that had the least amount of ice on it. The route to work was longer and had more traffic, but I didn’t mind. Less ice meant less stress, so it was worth it!

While I safely made it to the office, that didn’t mean I ceased worrying about the ice. I still had to make it to an appointment, which meant I had to get back out on potential treacherous roads. My appointment was in the afternoon, so by that time, the sun’s warmth had melted much of the ice or turned it to slush.

I had no problems getting to and from my appointment and was quite pleased with myself for facing my fears. However, when I returned to the office, I began to worry about the drive home. The temperature was dropping, and the melting snow and standing water would turn back into ice soon. After much debating, I decided to leave work before it got dark. Again, the drive took about two hours to make it home, but I did it - safely!

Copyright © 2011

DOI (Driving On Ice)

Well, my winter weather worries continue.

Thanks to some nice people I work with, I was able to get rides to the office yesterday and today. Unfortunately, since I have an appointment tomorrow, it looks like the best option would be for me to drive myself to work.

The roads have improved, but there are still some slick spots and ice-related accidents. A commute that usually takes twenty minutes turned into a two-hour commute today (my husband picked me up, and we saw four accidents on our way home). While the wheels on Todd’s car spun a few times on the ice, the wheels were spinning in my head, as well. Here’s a snapshot of that two-hour ride home:

A babbling brook creeps along mountains of melting snow.

“Isn’t that pretty?” my husband asks me. He is clearly not worried about the icy conditions.

“Yes, it is,” I say. Concentrate on the pretty scenery, not the treacherous ice beneath us, I tell myself over and over again.

We continue to drive on the narrow backroad, which we took to avoid chaos caused by an accident. Then, a red light stops us. On ice.

“Once that light turns green, I don’t think we’ll be able to get going,” my husband says. He still does not seem very worried. I, on the other hand, can feel my chest tighten.

The light turns green and as he predicted, we’re stuck. We begin to slide, and the wheels desperately turn, trying to gain some traction. There is a slight drop-off to our right, and I just know that we’re headed for it! Then, the car straightens and struggles to go forward. A SUV is ahead of us, and now I’m worried we could hit it. We don’t hit it, though, and eventually make it out of the ice and onto the main road.

This commute, along with the four accidents we saw along the way, does not inspire much confidence that I can drive in the ice tomorrow. There are a couple of spots I’m worried about, but I’m going to try to drive myself to work! Hopefully, I’ll have a good report tomorrow!

Copyright © 2011

Winter Weather Worries

Everything is covered with snow, and ice coats the roadways and sidewalks.
For some people in the South, hearing the word “snow” excites them. It does not snow much here in Georgia (some winters we can go without ever seeing a snowflake), so when it snows here, we are fascinated by the rare beautiful scenery it creates. And, of course, you can hear screams of delight when the list of school and business closings scrolls across the bottom of the TV.

As a worry wart, though, I found much to worry about during the January snowstorm that hit the state. What if I have to get out in the winter weather and then have an accident? My car could slide into another car or run off the road into a ditch. A car could run into my car. What if I make it to my destination safely, but then slip on the ice and crack my head (which is something that happened years ago to someone my mother knows). What if someone I know has to get out in the bad weather and something happens to them?

As my husband and I watched the snow fall and turn to ice, I was amazed by the number of cars driving on the ice, especially after repeated pleas by public safety officials to stay off the dangerous, slick roads. The number of cars wasn’t anywhere near the amount usually on the road, but still... Where were these people going? What was so important that these people had to risk their lives?

After the snowstorm had subsided, I decided my husband and I should venture outside and make some photos. I didn’t get very far, though. The moment we stepped outside, our shoes were on ice. While my husband gradually made it to the sidewalk, I remained behind, eagerly wanting to follow him. But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I knew of someone who had had a serious head injury as a result of slipping on ice, and I didn’t want to end up in a similar situation.

So a day that should have been relatively stress-free somehow ended up more stressful. That’s not how a snow day should be! How do so many people seem to be so calm during these times of inclement weather?

Copyright © 2011