Worrying Adds Unnecessary Stress

Here is my very first guest post by my longtime friend, Rosie, who is a worrywart like me. She is the mother of two children (ages 6 and 3), so they probably have something to do with her worrying. I’ve also noticed her worrying increases the older she gets (or maybe it’s just the longer she is friends with me and my worrying is rubbing off on her). Hope you can find some comfort in her post!

What is stress?

Stress is dealing with the crazy drivers at rush hour when you just want to get home. Stress is worrying about your children getting hurt. Stress is moving (I should know because I just did.) Stress is adjusting to a new job. Stress is trying to please everyone when you just can't. Stress is worrying about your health. Stress is...well, you get the point.

Stress is a part of everyday life for everyone. It consumes the lives of many of us. Gone are the carefree days we experienced as children. Oh, some days I wish to be a child again!

I worry and stress myself out a lot. My heart races, and I feel sick to my stomach and like things are spinning. What do I stress about? Little things sometimes. Like writing this article. Will anyone actually like it?

My husband tells me I need to relax. I worry about him and my kids and friends and family and sometimes just life in general. I have been doing better, though (somewhat, anyway). I am trying to think things through before I throw them out of proportion and stress out for no reason. My biggest stresses lately have been moving and buying our first home, as well as worrying about first bills and payments that we haven't had before. Maybe it won't be as bad as I think it is, but it is a big stress in my life.

So, if you are like me and worry which causes stress, try to take things with a grain of salt and try not to worry so much. Take deep breaths and good luck!

Lizards, Bees, and (Gasp!) Butterflies

Working out in the gym can become repetitive and boring. That’s why it’s good to change up the routine and do something else like go hiking, as my husband and I did this past week.

We had traveled the path before, so we knew what to expect. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop me from worrying.

As my husband and I hiked the trail, I tuned in to nature. For example, I was very aware of insects - possibly mosquitos - trying to bite me. While slapping them away, I began to wonder, “What if the trees are full of ticks and one falls on me?” (Actually, this is one of my greatest fears while in the woods, probably because a tick landed on me during recess in the fifth-grade.) I also was aware of slight drop offs and worried about losing my footing and slipping down one.

Then, without warning, leaves began to rattle. My first thought: It’s a snake! Instead, what emerged, was a cute, cuddly squirrel. Not long afterwards, more rattling leaves caught our attention. “Did you see the size of that lizard?” my husband asked. Unfortunately - or probably fortunately in my case - I did not see it.

We resumed our walk, and it was not long before we heard the rattling of more leaves. Up ahead, not far from the trail, five squirrels were playing together and chasing each other. It was such a cute scene and made my worries fade until bees (or maybe they were yellow jackets) started buzzing in my ear and chasing me.

So I waved my hands in front of my face. And ran.

“Watch out! Don’t trip over the roots!” my husband yelled after me.

By the time my husband caught up with me, I had successfully avoided the bees (or yellow jackets). We were almost to the end of the trail when a black insect flew up in my face. I screamed. My husband laughed.

“Are you scared of a butterfly?” he asked.

“No,” I said as I noticed the insect was a beautiful butterfly - black with white markings. “I couldn’t tell what it was at first. You know I love butterflies.”

I sighed. This was supposed to be a stress-free way to get some exercise, and all I did the entire time was worry about what could happen. Why? Maybe it's because I have bad luck with bugs. They're usually attracted to me and cause me to have huge bug bites. Or maybe it's because nature can be so unpredictable.


Either way, could you imagine me on an episode of “Man vs. Wild”?

Things Aren’t Always As Bad As They Seem

There it was. Just as the radar had promised.

The cloud was very dark, almost purple. If it hadn’t been so ominous, it might have been even pretty. But I knew what it could cause - heavy rain, lightening, and gusty winds. My husband and I were heading away from the storm, but it would be only a matter of time before it reached us.

Thankfully, we arrived home before the storm hit. And to our surprise, the storm wasn’t as bad as it had looked.

Huh. Weird, I thought.

As a worrywart, this seems to happen a lot. I tend to worry before there is anything to worry about. I can see a potential problem (or at least I think I do sometimes), and then nothing happens. Like the recent storm, I thought it was going to be one of the strongest storms I had ever experienced, but then not much happened. We had some rain and thunder and lightening, but not much else. I had worried about nothing. Again. I had unnecessarily stressed myself out. Again.

And I hope I’m worrying about nothing now. As I’ve said before, I have a vascular condition on one of my legs and one of my biggest worries is blood clots. Recently, I went to the doctor and found out that while the veins in my legs look pretty good, I have a couple of spots that are similar to varicose veins. The doctor didn’t seem too worried about them, so I left feeling relieved. Until now.

My leg has started aching at times, but I know I shouldn’t be concerned about it because the doctor reassured me that there was nothing to worry about. I know before I’ve mentioned the idea of creating a list of things that I’ve worried about but never happened. I think this would be good time to do that to help me stop worrying about my leg.

Here’s a sample of my list (I say sample because this has the potential to be a long list):

Being caught in a tornado (knock on wood, this hasn’t happened).
Getting a blood clot on an airplane (knock on wood, this hasn’t happened).
Seeing rain on my wedding day (the weather ended up being absolutely perfect!).
Slipping on ice in the snowstorms this past winter (by the time I drove by myself, the ice had melted from the major roadways).
Traveling to Germany by myself and getting lost at the airport (it ended up being a breeze finding my way around - even though I don’t speak German!).
Driving and getting lost in unfamiliar areas, especially in downtown areas (the GPS is a great invention and has helped me to find my way a lot).
Getting sick by eating unfamiliar foods in foreign countries (i.e., octopus in Italy).

Looking at this list, I have to say I feel a little silly having worried about such things. But hindsight’s 20/20, right? It’s nice to look back on the things that I thought were going to end poorly and realize that they weren’t as bad as they had seemed at the time. I must keep this in mind when I start worrying again...

Are Cell Phones Dangerous?

We use them all the time. We use them to talk to each other, text, send emails, and take photos. In fact, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t own one.

But are cell phones dangerous to our health?
According to this article, cell phones probably aren’t dangerous, but it’ll still take some more time before we know for sure.

For a while now, I’ve been aware of the possibility that cell phones could be a cause of cancer. This hasn’t stopped me from using one, though (I know, shocker). I do try to use my earpiece as much as possible. Using my earpiece gives me some comfort and eliminates some concerns, but of course, I still worry about it.

But every time there’s a new piece of technology, it seems like questions arise concerning its safety. When the television was invented, people worried about the amount of radiation it emitted. And when the microwave was invented, people worried about the same thing. But we are still watching TV and heating up food. We’ll probably be using cell phones years from now without any problems, as well, but time will tell.

In the meantime, I’ll continue taking the precautions suggested in the noted article: limit cell phone use, keep the phone away from my head when talking, and use an earpiece. Like I always say, I’d rather worry about nothing than something.

No Tornado Watches, No Tornado Warnings, Almost No Worries

While watching the red and yellow clumps slowly move on the radar, I thought I had a chance to make it home safely before the severe storms hit.

I quickly turned off the computer, grabbed my purse, and headed out of the office. Once outside, I was relieved to see that it wasn’t raining and the sky had lightened up a bit. “I’m leaving just in time,” I thought.

As I got closer to home, the darker it got. And then I saw it.

Straight ahead of me was one of the darkest clouds I had ever seen. And it looked just like a tornado.

I called my dad to ask him if he knew if we were under a tornado watch. “No, no,” he said. “There’s not a tornado watch. Hot and cold air have to meet, and we don’t have enough cold air coming through.”

“But there’s this cloud in front of me! It really looks like a tornado!” I protested.

My dad laughed at my useless worrying. “It’s not a tornado.”

So I dismissed the safety action plan that was forming in my head and ventured on to my home. About that time, a fellow worrywart called and asked me if I was driving. “I was just wondering,” she said, “because I see something that looks like a tornado near you.”

Action plan back on.

“I thought it looked like one, too! My dad says we’re not under a tornado watch, though,” I said, trying to stay calm.

Just then, a burst of wind violently shook my car, and I gripped the steering wheel. Rain began to fall, and lightening danced across the sky. I started to turn into a store parking lot, but I was so close to home and decided to stay on course.

I drove a little ways and then stopped at a red light. The trees began to sway with fury, and rain pounded my car. “If this light would just turn green now, I’d be able to make it home!” I yelled.

The light turned green and moments later as I was turning into my driveway, the wind picked up speed and blew sheets and sheets of rain. I had just made it.

When I was safely inside, I texted one of my friends, telling her of my ordeal. “At least there are no tornadoes,” she said.

Yes, there were no tornadoes (thank goodness!!). Unfortunately, my imagination ran away with me again and pictured the dark cloud turning into a real life tornado. I can’t seem to stop worrying about severe weather - especially when I’m driving in the middle of it. But it can be difficult to start conjuring up positive thoughts when the wind is shaking your car violently and the sky looks like it is going to fall on you.

Speaking of tornadoes, I recently visited Universal Studios and did the “Twister” ride. Actually, it’s more of a show than a ride. On a soundstage, they show how it was possible to make the scenes from “Twister” look so real. (On a side note, is it ironic that one of my favorite movies actually is “Twister”? I won’t watch it during tornado season, though.) Anyway, one of my friends had seen the “Twister” attraction before and joked that it may be therapeutic for me. After this most recent incident, I’m guessing that it was not therapeutic and I still need to find ways to stay calm during severe weather. Any ideas?

Just My Imagination?

You would think that having an active imagination would benefit a writer such as myself. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always benefit me. In fact, it sometimes hurts me.

When something goes wrong (or at least seems like it could go wrong), my mind goes into overdrive with so many questions. What if this happens? What if that happens? What if that person really meant this? What if this person really meant that? What is this person really thinking of me now? How will this affect my future?

Usually I come up with scenarios that you would find in Academy Award-winning films or disaster movies - depending on the situation, of course. For example, I recently hit my head on a shelf as I was standing up. The moment it happened, I began worrying that something was wrong. What if there was swelling underneath the skin? What if hitting my head had caused a concussion? What if the symptoms were delayed and then I didn’t find out until it was too late that something was wrong? What if...Okay. You get the idea.

The power of suggestion can cause much stress for worriers. Hearing just one word or feeling just one ache can create a string of possibilities and cause one’s imagination to run away with itself. This recently happened to a friend of mine. Her leg had been hurting for a while, and she began to worry about what it could be. As she was talking to me about it, her other leg began to hurt and then seconds later ceased hurting.

Obviously, the mind is very powerful and can trick you into thinking that something is wrong. I can be totally fine and not worrying about anything for most of the day, but then I’ll hear a disturbing news story or someone will ask me if I knew that, say, you can get staph infects in workout rooms. Hearing such news or random facts - that’s when my imagination begins to conjure up scary scenarios and I begin to worry.

A statue in William Shakespeare's hometown.

What’s the solution then? Turn off the TV and Internet and sit around in denial? No, denial’s probably not very healthy either. If a worrywart’s mind can be easily persuaded that there is something to worry about, maybe what I need to do is distract my mind before it lets my imagination run away from me. The next time something makes me worry, I should put on a romantic comedy or become immersed in a good book. If I’m out and about and not able to do these things, maybe I could carry a list of things that I’ve worried about but never happened.

Until then, here’s a quote by William Shakespeare that I find somewhat comforting: “Present fears are less than horrible imaginings.”

Letting Things Go

The tennis ball flew up in the air and then gradually fell towards me. If I hit the ball just right, it would be an easy put away at the net. I knew I could do it. I just knew it!

“I got it!” I yelled to my tennis partner.

Before I knew it, I had hit the ball. In the net. “Ugh!” I shrieked with disgust.

While I hit some pretty amazing shots during my match this past weekend (if I don’t say so myself), I can’t seem to concentrate on the fact that I played well. Instead, I’m too focused on the few shots that I missed that might have cost us the match and not able to let it go.

But isn’t that what many people tend to do at times? Instead of focusing on the good things in life, we dwell on the things that might have cost us something. Like, maybe you got behind an incredibly slow person on the way to work, and that person caused you to be in a bad mood the rest of the day because you were late. Or maybe you sat next to an annoying person in the movie theater and weren’t able to enjoy the film. Maybe you even bought the latest gadget and then found it cheaper somewhere else.

I think my inability to cease dwelling on such things that, in the end, aren’t that important, contributes to my worrying. Yes, I lost a tennis match, and there were some shots that I should have made. So what? It was a beautiful day, and I got some exercise while playing well. I should feel good about that and move on. There’s more to life than a tennis match anyway, right?

Before a match a couple of weeks ago, my tennis partner suggested that we just play our game and not worry about whether we won or lost. Throughout the match, this strategy seemed to be working. I was playing well and having fun and when we lost the match, I walked away without any worries or regrets.

I think I need to start thinking of life as a tennis match. In tennis, if you think too much about how you’re going to hit the ball and where you are going to place it, you tend to mess up. When you stop over thinking and just play your game, though, you win more points.

So maybe if I just stop analyzing everything (Why didn’t I do that? Why did I say that? What does that mean?) and just let things go, my worrying will begin to decrease. Like tennis, this will take some practice...

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